Each of the three verses starts with a news reporter, played by Stevens, commenting on a streaking incident somewhere around town, and trying to interview one of the witnesses, who always turns out to be the same man, also played by Stevens. The witness tells what he saw and relates how he tried to warn his wife, Ethel, not to look (“Don’t look, Ethel!”), but is always too late. After each interview, a chorus is sung by multiple voices; the chorus is the only part of the song that is actually sung; the rest is spoken. After the third interview, the man sees the streaker again, but to his horror the streaker is joined by his wife, and the man changes his tune: “Ethel, you shameless hussy!”, as well as “You get your clothes on!”, and “Say it ain’t so, Ethel”